Dilbert and Management Jokes

When I prepare people for my presentation, I pass out a notecard with a joke on one side, and a feedback form on the other. I have found that this is very effective in loosening up the room before I start talking. The joke I put on my card is this:

A man in a hot air balloon is lost. He sees a man on the ground and reduces height to speak to him. "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

"You're in a hot air balloon hovering thirty feet above this field," comes the reply.

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do," says the man, "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "Everything you told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

"You must work in Management," says the man.

"I am," says the balloonist, "How did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

A person who had been to one of my speeches recently emailed me this Dilbert cartoon. He said it reminded him of my presentation! It's a good sign that not only did he remember my presentation, but he is still thinking about it now! Here is the cartoon.

PreMeeting Research - What to do?

Willem Boom, VP of Business Development asks on LinkedIn:

Pre-Call/Meeting research. Via the internet & other sources. How deep to you need to go? How much is too much? What is the most important data?

My answer:

Pre-meeting research is important but NO amount or last minute research can trump just "knowing your stuff". One should always be up to date on the happenings in your industry, plus the general economy.

On a periodic basis:
1. Spend 5 minutes every day skimming over the headlines in the WSJ.
2. Spend 10 minutes every day reading headlines and leads in an industry journal of your choosing.
3. Read the Business and Finance & Economic sections of the Economist every week (maybe Leaders and Briefing).

Before a meeting:
1. Data on the individuals you are meeting
2. Do a company specific search (Google news is good)
3. Don't worry too much about really detailed "insider" company details. If they wanted an insider they wouldn't be looking to hire an outsider.

Day of:
1. Bring your passion! #1 seller.
2. Brevity!
3. Open a knowledge gap (make them realize they don't know something). Then fill it.

Great question!

The difference between the essence, and simplicity

In my Business Analyst 2.0 Presentation, I talk about the difference between distilling concepts down to their essence, and simplifying them. Made to Stick was my inspiration for this. It's a very fine distinction, but a very important one.


Distilling to the Essence: Getting to the core of what you're saying, throwing out irrelevant details.
Simplifying: Describing something like you would to a child. A step by step guide that walks you through every little thing.

Simplifying is bad, distilling is good.

Speaking helps you do networking the right way

Let's face it. Networking is hard. Nobody wants to talk to some punk 20something, unless he or she is also a 20something. Unfortunately, one of the key benefits to networking is that other people can help you accomplish things! In return, you need to provide value. It can be intellectual value, or just be interesting. Normally, its hard to get 'important people' to consider you valuable.

If you give a presentation, all of a sudden you are an expert. People will start coming to YOU to network. You won't have to do anything and people will be waiting in line to get to talk to you. Now, all of a sudden you have value. Not only will they want to talk to you, sometimes they will even offer you a job right on the spot! I've had someone come to me and say, are you looking for a job? because you are the perfect person for this project I have in mind.

You get to talk to important people and they will help you out if you ask them. Be sure to ask if they know any organizations that would be interested in a similar speech or presentation. Giving an awesome presentation in front of a large and diverse group can change your life and open dozens of new doors for you.

In light of today's earthquake in China...

A month ago on LinkedIn, Tatyana Kanzaveli, Senior Sales and Business Development Executive asks:

In light of today's earthquake in China... wouldn't this trigger your thoughts on multi-sourcing/disaster-proving your outsourcing strategies?
Hope to hear more insights on this topic at upcoming International Software Development Outsourcing Conference

My answer:

The earthquake in China and the cyclone in Myanmar are all examples of the potential danger of single sourcing. Of course, given the immense benefits of outsourcing, I would not argue to remove outsourcing all together. In general, I think the benefits of disaster preparation are woefully under appreciated. Here are a few of the things I would keep in mind before outsourcing:

1. Are you outsourcing your competitive advantage? I would be wary of outsourcing anything your company does best. The best candidates for outsourcing are non-essential functions that someone else is clearly better at.

2. If a site were to go down, how quickly could you bring up production at another location? How critical is it really? In general, customers are very forgiving when you say that an earthquake leveled your location in China, but this is a chance to wow them if you can get back to 100% quicker than anyone anticipated.

3. What is your data retention strategy? Do you back up all data onto a server in the US on a nightly basis? If a foreign government takes over your business, do you have the capability to wipe data off remote drives? Do you have a remote detonation device? (Just kidding).

4. Economies of scale: If they are very small, it is much more cost effective to multi source. If they are great, it would lead more highly to single sourcing.

5. Too much power. In general, with one supplier you give up lots of power to just one party. Having two parties will allow you to compare them against each other to see who provides better value. It’s very hard to compare a single supplier with others because it is basically guesswork.

Seek out the Naysayer at work

There is a director at my office which I will henceforth refer to as the Naysayer. According to her, I have never done anything right in my life, and will likely never do anything right for as long as I live. She is a smart woman, and very good at her job. However, we seem to disagree on about 90% of topics. For example, she thinks people will only get reverse mortgages when they are in dire straits. I think that the future of Reverse Mortgages lies in 'value added' services for affluent people. She thinks the role of a business analyst is to facilitate discussions and withhold opinions, whereas I feel business analysts need to not only facilitate discussions, but are responsible for having opinions and making decisions. She feels that saying the word 'suck' in a business presentation reflects badly on the company and yourself, whereas I feel it adds personality and gives a sense of realism.

Walking into her office is like forcing yourself to walk on hot coals -- not only does it suck, you are doing it to yourself. So why do I insist on doing it again and again to get feedback?

Because its the BEST thing I can do to improve myself.

Three reasons. The first is that honest feedback is almost impossible to get. Nobody wants to destroy other people's self confidence and dreams, so complete harsh honesty is hard to come by.

Second, by always accentuating the negative, you will realize how naysayers think, and you can change your work accordingly. One example is that I brought a draft of an article to the Naysayer, and she basically disagreed with the entire premise of my article and wrote, in bold and double underline "NOT TRUE." This was great feedback, because it made me reanalyze the position of my article. Now I am redoing it to emphasize how if you don't follow the mold you can create an entirely new market! So she has made my article much, much better.

Third, she helps me stay humble. When people are very often praising you, and telling you, "Great article! Great Presentation" its easy to think you know all and are great. You have to stay humble and stay hungry. No one reminds me how much more I still need to do as a person, and no one makes me hungrier than talking to the Naysayer.